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I'm a stranger in a strange land
like Alice in Wonderland
and I see Scully & Mulder
they're at it on the kitchen floor
maybe I was born here
or maybe it's all a lie
but birth doesn't make this my home
no, life doesn't make this my home
not when worlds collide
over a left-up toilet seat
when everything will end in two thousand
but we all know it'll go on
tell me where I am,
tell me how I got here
tell me what I did
to bring me here
where I'm told aliens aren't human
but I'm told humans aren't either
and I'm told a deadman's hand will get you shot
but all anybody seems to know for sure is "Xena's hot!"
So take me home now
where the trees don't talk
and the snow doesn't scream as you walk
'cause I don't like it here
where people say what they don't mean but
people mean what they say
'cause this world can't be my home
no this world where no one cares
but everyone says they do
and they say home is where the heart is
but my heart is in another world
so here I am
like a stranger in a strange land
nothing's right, and everything is wrong
so please,
take me home now
where everything is right
take me home now
where people don't fight
or at least tell me
why do I have to be here
where everything's right, and everything is wrong
where people don't need, but they die in the streets
why do I have to be here
where I'm a stranger in a strange land...
Written 05/28/1997, and originally rife with typos, miscapitalizations, abbreviations and titled Take Me Home Where I'm Not a Stranger in a Strange Land. Title shortened both for brevity and to avoid stealing the title of a Heinlein novel, and abbreviations and errors removed, in Feb 2002.